Thursday, 25 August 2011

friends...but without the benefits

I have had cause recently to have a number of discussions about the merits (or lack thereof) of this FWB phenomena that seems to be sweeping singledom at the moment.

Now I am not able to speak from experience about this but I have to say that I have my doubts about how it can really truly work.

I figure that if someone is your friend, that means you like them and want to spend time with them.  If you are interested in a sexual relationship with someone I am assuming that you have to be physically attracted to them.  So the combination, surely, is that you have found someone you like, that you want to spend time with, and you are attracted to.

So my question is this...why would someone choose FWB over a real, committed relationship?

I understand that it might have something to do with age and stage in life.  Maybe personal circumstances. But surely even in a friendship one makes allowances or compensation for that?  Maybe one, or both, is reluctant to commit to something 'serious'' - but surely we should be treating even a friendship with respect and seriousness?

And doesn't the fact that it may now include a sexual connection give it an element of seriousness (or is that just old fashioned me?).  Doesn't that kind of skew things and start to involve feelings and emotions outside the bounds of friendship?  What happens when the rules change - say one person starts to feel 'more'' that the other? What if the rules weren't defined properly at the start?  What exactly are the rules? Where are the benefits!?!

I'm fascinated by this.  Are there really truly people out there who have done this and it has worked?  Anonymous- or not -  responses welcomed!!!

1 comment:

  1. I had a FWB relationship for a year while at Uni. Worked perfectly for the both of us. When either of us got a boyfriend/girlfriend, we'd stop seeing each other. When we were both single again, we'd get together. The delights of a FWB situation is that there's no presuure. When you're younger, that's what you want.