Tuesday, 27 December 2011

dating coaches and other people with terrible advice

I got sent a link for the blog of an American dating coach.  He writes a blog, runs a forum - oh and does private coaching for (mainly) successful smart attractive women who can't seem to attract men.

It was kind of interesting.  some of what he said made a lot of sense.  But there was also, as one might expect, a lot of contradictions, and a fair number of generalisations.  Like what ''all men'' thought.  Like how ''all women'' respond to certain statements or behaviours.

It is true to do you think?  Are all women passive aggressive...needy...demanding?  Are all men misunderstood hunters who no longer know how to act around women?  Is it really true that all men will choose friends-with-benefits if they are offered it, and all women will offer it, thinking its a pathway to a real relationship?

Yes, some women can be a bit scary - come across as needy even, especially when they're trying to be honest about how they are feeling.  And yes, I think maybe men are supposed to be the ones wearing the trousers, and many probably would take what was on offer if they thought it came without strings.  But isn't that just the simple reality of being a human being in this crazy mixed up post-30 dating world?

Talk about depressing reading!  What happened to two people meetings, liking each other, and then deciding to move toward a relationship?  Taking a bit of a risk, but doing it with eyes wide open, and slow steady breathing? That sounds a whole lot simpler to me.

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