Monday, 23 January 2012

why I cry at weddings

I think I might be one of the few people in the world who actively avoid weddings.  Mainly because I am guaranteed to turn into a snivelling wreck (in a ladylike and discreet manner obviously...and only crying on the inside) every time I go to one.

They are supposed to be happy, joyous occasions right?  So why do they make me feel so miserable?

In part its because I have this horrible cynical streak that says, yeah good one, lets see how happy you are in five years.

In part its because I feel insanely jealous at the patent bliss the happy pair are exuding

In part it's because, despite being reconciled...mostly....to no longer being married myself, I am acutely aware I am not one of the smug marrieds sitting in the congregation holding the hand of my own beloved and sharing a fond memory

In part it's because I remember crying at my own wedding

And in part it's because I actually am truly happy for them and sincerely wish the two of them every happiness - and if you can't have a little cry at a wedding then where else can you do it and have people smile benevolently....

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