Monday, 30 April 2012

a better version of me

In yet another conversation about the re-coupling process, a male friend remarked that in choosing a partner - or at least, considering a relationship, he wanted to feel that his girlfriend would make him want to be the best version of himself he could be.

There is no doubt that when we meet new people, we're on our best behaviour.  Unsurprisingly we want them to see our best sides!  But I don't think that's what this guy meant.

I think he's talking about his partner (and these two are truly equals),  bringing out the best in him, and challenging him to address the stuff in himself that maybe isn't so great.   She is, albeit without realising it subconsciously, wanting him to continue improving, to continue working on himself, and is probably acting as  a conscience pricker from time to time.

Sometimes I've talked about how we can be lucky enough to cross paths with people who make us sparkle.  Who make us think we're the wittiest, smartest, most attractive we've ever been but I think this is deeper than that too.  Certainly it is not a partners job to ''make someone happy'' nor is it in any way realistic or fair to own the burden of changing another (in fact that's a dire mistake that plenty of other dating websites will give you advice on!).

But to be in a relationship with - or even to be dating, or friend with - someone who motivates you to excellence, that surely is what we all should hope for

1 comment:

  1. I'm glad you mention that a good friend can do this for us, as well. It doesn't have to be a romantic relationship, for certain people just to bring out the best in each other. :-)