Tuesday, 25 September 2012

counting the dates 2 3 4 5

I love the recall of a great date.  Remember when we...how about that time that...what about that first date/first outing/first holiday.

But reading a response on another blog (http://www.evanmarckatz.com/blog/is-fear-keeping-you-from-finding-a-relationship) it dawned on me that I've stopped counting.  Not that each time isn't important or significant or memorable, just that they don't feel like individual occasions any more - and that's a good thing.  Absolutely those key moments - first date in particular! - should be treasured and remembered but at what point do you stop counting the dates and realise that what was once a series of individual dates is now part of a bigger, clearer picture.

The poster over there at EMKs blog stated ''we've been dating 2 months or so I can't quite remember''.  Really?  Two months with someone and you dont' quite remember? That I find hard to believe.   But I can certainly accept that once some rhythms and routines are established it would be easy to forget just exactly how many times you have been out (or stayed in) with your new SO. 

So I wonder, does counting dates belong only in the beginning of a relationship? Or is it a sign of insecurity (or rather, not yet with security)?    When does the dating become relationship?  Is it at the point of commitment - or is it in fact when you realise you are no longer counting what has already been, but rather are looking forward to what is ahead, and the numbers no longer matter.

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