Tuesday, 13 December 2016

A not so Fairy-tale ending

This week I was required to visit the lawyer to sign various documents relating to property and wellbeing.
In the course of the conversation my lawyer mentioned new relationship laws and how they were tripping up many unsuspecting people who start with the best of intentions but far to often find themselves in a war over assets.  There are, it turns out, lots of way to define a relationship (and thus the ownership of assets therein) and I was amazed to learn that living together or being married was not necessarily a prerequisite to entitlement - in fact a relationship that is a realationship to the outside world, regardless of which, or how many homes, the couple reside in, can be a deciding factor.
Rather than get into a subject I am not qualified to discuss, I herewith present their legal opinion on the matter:





Monday, 20 June 2016

A public service announcement - privacy don't matter when your heart ain't breakin'

I was given a couple of trashy mags this week - neither are titles I have ever bought, and having idly flicked through them, I can confidently say I never will.  Ugh -  dodgy fashion, crass Hollywood gossips stories with grainy photographs, and horror of horrors, interviews with vaguely famous local celebs 'confiding' in their loyal readers.  They are quite old, so the story is no longer newsworthy, but I think my reaction to them is still valid.

Thus, after a long long break from blogging, here is today's post.

According to the article, a couple of weeks earlier a 'personality' told her listeners on air that she was separating from her husband of 30 years (whom she also worked with).  The audience, I'm told, held their collective breath, and then 'cried with her' as they heard how there had been no tears at the breakup, that they remained friends, nay, still loved each other, and it was 'no-one's fault, she just lost herself'. And tonight, I read her 'very personal' account in the magazine.

Call me judgmental - and you can because I know the whole story because she shared it will ME, the reader, in the magazine;, right?...but...REALLY?  You confide in 30000 people you've never met, after making announcement of epic personal proportions ON THE RADIO?

I feel almost embarrassed. I am sure there are people who do have relatively amicable separations, where they drift apart (or whatever soft touch we put on it), in fact probably as many as have loud, tumultuous endings where neither party wants to let go (or one does whilst the other hangs on for grim death).  I get that its possible that the couple in question felt that by making a public announcement they could quash rumours before they started, and present a united front to their listener ship.

I also suspect that the separation was - or at least will be - a power of a lot more painful than the version they are sharing with the world. And this I know because I absolutely believe that any breakup just is. No matter whose 'fault; it is, or isn't. No matter who initiated it. No matter how long or short the relationship. It's the ending of something. Something that once, meant something...everything...to the people involved.  My questions are many...does the world really need to know this? Surely one of the things about intimate relationships is that they are, well, intimate? Is a radio announcement or press release really a great way to share this news?

oh yeah - and Conscious uncoupling my arse.  It's a breakup. It sucks. Just say it like it is.

I feel incredibly sad for this couple, and all who they are close to.  Whatever the circumstances, it's not going to be easy, even if in the first instance it feels that way.  (There's be horrible people like me judging them for a start...).  There'll be do-gooders sharing advice and opinions but probably not ACTUALLY supporting them.  But most of all, after 30 years there will be a lifetime to change direction on, and that just isn't easy, no matter how much they still love each other.

She is describing it as a 'break' - and I sincerely hope it is.  After 30 years its going to be one hell of a ride to singledom if it's a permanent thing.