Sunday, 28 August 2011

fighting fires that aren't even sparks

I learnt yesterday that I had upset someone. A male someone. It was completely unintentional and in fact I didn't even know that the thing that upset him would have even registered with him.

My first reaction was to fight the fire.  I hardly know this guy but I immediately began thinking of how I might be able to contact him and maybe assuage the hurt a little.

I'm good at that.  Trying to make amends.  Soothing furrowed brows.  Pouring oil on troubled waters.  Fighting fires.

The rational side of my brain kicked in - excuse me, miss unity addict! I think it's called overcompensating, and being a rescuer.

Women seem to be particularly good at this stuff. We over analyse.  We put in too much emotion. We don't want to UPSET anyone.  We don't want to cause any HURT.   We want to save the world and protect other people from pain, no matter how small, no matter how ill-perceived.

And so I rationalised a little more.  I didn't know I had upset anyone.  I hadn't done it deliberately.  It was an action not a word so there wasn't even any interaction with this person.  Ergo, they were assuming that the way I behaved was for their benefit or not.  Honestly, what was I thinking that I felt the need to even get into it!

I let it go.

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