I had a really interesting conversation this week with another uncoupled friend. He too is thinking about the ups and downs of the single life, like how to muster the effort required to meet new people versus the apparent ease of just accepting singleness.
I was once told that I appeared to be someone who wanted a boyfriend not a partner. I think what that person meant was that I wasn't prepared to commit EVERYTHING to a relationship. At that time it probably had more to do with that particular relationship than my state of intention, but in reflection I can see some truth in that.
And whilst I'm not in favour of the FWB idea, let alone the FB one (look it up...), I can see an appeal in the part time relationship - does that means girlfriend/boyfriend? -too. I suspect that the longer one remains single the harder it becomes to want to compromise that independence. And also the harder it becomes to blend two lives - especially if there are children, or different locations, or no major overlap of friends and interests.
I really can't decide which option has the most - or least - appeal. To be coupled, to have a special person to share life with or to be single and get to enjoy the privilege (and I want to frame it like that) of being wholly responsible and accountable to just myself. To know that I might not have to have another ''sunday bloody sunday'' versus having each child free weekend stretching deliciously empty and full of promise ahead of me.
Maybe if i met the "right"person none of this would matter? Possibly not. But I am also realistic enough to know that I should not have to compromise the things that I don't want to compromise, any more than any potential partner should have to.