When my marriage ended, I stopped eating. Not on purpose, it just kind of happened. In the space of about 8 weeks I lost 10 kg's. I didn't even notice at the time - until I went to buy a new pair of jeans (usually a size 14), and discovered I needed a size 8. I thought I looked terrific. Everyone commented on it. Everything I wore looked great - even a swimsuit.
But the reality was that I was way way too thin. I got sick a lot. I picked up every germ going. My muscle tone was almost non-existent. Fast forward 3 years and I'm in much better health. I'm not the super slim person I was then but I'm definitely better for it - even if everything I wear doesn't look so great! I don't do huge amounts of exercise but I do some. I am not precious about my diet, but I do endeavour to eat well most of the time. People notice that too.
And if there's one thing I learned through this, it's how important it is to take care of yourself. It's often said that women (in particular) 'let themselves go'' when they are in a relationship. And it's only when they become uncoupled that they realise they need to up their game. This is of course deeper than weight and appearance, but I think that when you're feeling crappy on the inside it can be good to put some work into how you look on the outside. Similarly, if you feel you look like a bag lady, maybe it's time to do some work on what's going on inside too.
We women get all defensive when we hear men criticise women for being too fat, or too dowdy. We do the same thing (sheesh look at the gut!, hhhmmm bad haircut!) but would be hard pressed to admit that we care because women are supposed to be 'deeper than that'.
But maybe the men have got a point. How we appear to the outside world I think probably is a pretty good reflection of how we feel on the inside.
It's really important to take care of yourself. It's important whether you're coupled or not. But I think that it's vital to hold yourself accountable, to yourself! - no one else is going to do this for you.