Sunday, 2 October 2011

breaking bad habits

Ok I'll admit it...I have always been a bit hopeless when it comes to bad boys.  Well, more accurately, reformed bad boys.  The really bad ones don't hold much appeal - the values and lifestyle are not exactly compatible with the life of a responsible single mother...

A (single male) friend told me, somewhat smugly and with  seemingly great authority,  that the bad boys always get the girl.  And those same ratbags are apparently also rather attracted to the 'good girls''.

So why is it  that women are so often attracted to the ratbags?  Is it the element of danger, the lure of being able to reform them into ''good guys", the fact that maybe they get life more than the conservative nice ones?  If you're a woman reading this, can you shed light on it?

And why do they like the nice girls?  The idea that the niceness is just a front? The appeal of something they don't possess themselves?  Guys...can you enlighten me?

For sure, opposites attract.  It's certainly not uncommon to find a downright naughty boy with a super sweet and conservative girlfriend (although I haven't yet found the converse).

I even went out of my way to avoid that particular group of singles, but somehow they kept finding me...Call me a slow learner but it even took me a while to work out that just as women can have a veneer of nice, so can men.  No matter how conservative the dress, or how 'reformed'' he appears, a bad boy at heart is still a bad boy at heart.

So what's this girl to do?  Well, first of all I realised (yes I know, I'm a slow learner...) that the red flags that pop up are actually there to be taken notice of.   I'm more than happy to be friends with a ratbag, but it's never going to go further than that.   I added a couple of deal breakers to the (short but concise) list.  I've enlisted a couple of trusted friends in the evaluation process.

I've defined what characteristics those ''bad habits' all shared.  And I'm avoiding them.

I guess you could say I've set some standards for myself.

And next time, it will be the nice guy that get's the girl.


  1. All guys want a woman who is drama free, so the bad girls, apart from them 'putting out', just arent worth it. Guys know this.

    Yes the girls like the bad boys, the excitement, unpredictability of them, living on the edge and pushing the boundaries, and yes I believe, they want to be the one who tames the beast and domesticates him.

    Finding that good guy, with a bit of edge must be the key...and don't expect him to be just perfect...

  2. I don't doubt that the good guys are out fact I know several:)
    It's more about both the good guys and good girls learning to look towards each other rather than elsewhere - where there may or may not be more excitement!
    I have no expectation of perfection, or even of an edge. Just perfect for me would be fine.