Ok I'll admit it...I have always been a bit hopeless when it comes to bad boys. Well, more accurately, reformed bad boys. The really bad ones don't hold much appeal - the values and lifestyle are not exactly compatible with the life of a responsible single mother...
A (single male) friend told me, somewhat smugly and with seemingly great authority, that the bad boys always get the girl. And those same ratbags are apparently also rather attracted to the 'good girls''.
So why is it that women are so often attracted to the ratbags? Is it the element of danger, the lure of being able to reform them into ''good guys", the fact that maybe they get life more than the conservative nice ones? If you're a woman reading this, can you shed light on it?
And why do they like the nice girls? The idea that the niceness is just a front? The appeal of something they don't possess themselves? Guys...can you enlighten me?
For sure, opposites attract. It's certainly not uncommon to find a downright naughty boy with a super sweet and conservative girlfriend (although I haven't yet found the converse).
I even went out of my way to avoid that particular group of singles, but somehow they kept finding me...Call me a slow learner but it even took me a while to work out that just as women can have a veneer of nice, so can men. No matter how conservative the dress, or how 'reformed'' he appears, a bad boy at heart is still a bad boy at heart.
So what's this girl to do? Well, first of all I realised (yes I know, I'm a slow learner...) that the red flags that pop up are actually there to be taken notice of. I'm more than happy to be friends with a ratbag, but it's never going to go further than that. I added a couple of deal breakers to the (short but concise) list. I've enlisted a couple of trusted friends in the evaluation process.
I've defined what characteristics those ''bad habits' all shared. And I'm avoiding them.
I guess you could say I've set some standards for myself.
And next time, it will be the nice guy that get's the girl.