There is a strange phenomenon in the dating world that is all about how to let someone down gently. We all know the usual lines...
- It's not you it's me
- The timing just isn't right
- My life is just a bit complicated right now
- Seems your life is a bit complicated right now
- I think we want different things
- We're so similar I'm not sure there's anywhere to go with this
- I'm really looking for a serious relationship
- I'm not really looking for a serious relationship
- I think we'd make great friend
- I have a friend I'd really like you to meet
- I'm not ready to fall in love
- I've been hurt before and I'm afraid of it happening again
And now there's another one, that's used by Christians, that really doesn't allow for much of a comeback.
''I don't think you are in God's plan for me"
Call me a cynic (yeah go on go on!), but I think the first dozen are bad enough. I mean hang on a minute, if you're actually out there dating surely most of them don't apply anyway? And if they do, what the heck are you doing going out with other people!?!
All those lines say ''actually I don't really fancy you that much''. Now the truth hurts, but as well as a cynic I'm also part idealist - not one of those things would matter if you really like the other person and it's mutual. Surely?
But the last one.... It's hard to argue with someone if they say it's God's idea. But in my view God gave us a brain, which includes enough discernment, and hopefully enough ability for graciousness to tell someone when we don't want to pursue a relationship with them. ''God says no""? Frankly I reckon it's a total cop-out