Tuesday, 17 April 2012

fake it til you make it

Being a single is hard.  And being a single parent is really hard.  Really really hard.  And if you're reading this now there's a good chance you are one, and agree with me.  Sure if you've come out of a bad relationship there can be an element of relief or liberation - but I'm talking here about the every day mundane stuff.

It's hard on lots of levels - no matter how supportive your FDP is, how involved they are with the children's life, or how old the kids are.  There's hardly any respite.  You get the worst of the children's behaviour.  If the kids are young, it is likely that most of your friends are still partnered.  And those who aren't are struggling like you are.  There's less money.  There's no one to offload to at the end of the day.  There's no one to say ''hey we're out of milk, I'll go''.  There's no one to talk over the latest tantrum with.  Or celebrate the latest success with.

And so, if you're anything like me, for the most part you put on a brave face and let the world think everything is hunky-dory.  Of course you enjoy the single life.  Absolutely you'll meet that other single friend for a coffee date.  Of course you don't mind being the only single at a dinner party.  For sure having the bed/house/bathroom to oneself beats having to share it.  Of course a girls night out is a great idea.  Definitely it is fine to have a weekend/public holiday/overseas trip solo.  So much easier don't you know....

And maybe, if you say it often, and loudly, and convincingly enough, everyone else will believe it - and you might do too. Until eventually real life will catch up, and you actually discover one day, you are happy. After all.

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