Thursday, 5 April 2012

lies lies and damned statistics

There's a theory out there that says ''until you're happy with being single, you can never be happy with being coupled''.

There's also one that says ''get over one person before you get involved with another''

Oh, and then there's the idea that ''it's impossible to fall in love with someone if you're still in love with another''.

On the other hand how about ''you wouldn't have even gone looking if you were happy''.

What about ''time heals all, and moving into a new relationship won't solve the problem that was there in the first place, or heal the pain of a break''.

Oh I know... here's another: ''the likelihood of a second or subsequent relationship being successful lessons with every relationship''

And: the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else

Are any of these true for you?  Do any sound like outrageous lies, or generalisations?  Why or why not?


  1. I've made the mistake way too many times of breaking up with one BF and immediately going into the next relationship. You should first get over the ex before moving on. It's not fair to yourself or to the new guy.

    I agree with another one above too. When I'm not happy with a BF, instead of ending it, I start looking for someone new. Again, not a good thing to do.

    Yes, it does take time to heal after the ending of a relationship, no matter who breaks it off. I still care very much about the BF I recently broke up with, and I'm trying to just very, very casually date because I'm not over him yet. I'm dating because I don't like to stay in on the weekends, plus it's fun.

    I certainly don't think it's a good idea to go have sex with someone new thinking you'll get over your ex - you'll end up thinking about your past love and unable to get into it.

  2. Thanks for your honestly. Yes I agree it is better to work in healing one thing before moving to another. Its finding the fine line between distraction and denial.

  3. It's me again, with an update. After very short term dating with two men that didn't work out, I've decided that it's best to take a break from all dating. It's just made it harder for me to heal.

  4. Yes I think its easy to get in the mode of ''anaesthetising'' and until you actually let the healing happen it just gets buried under more and more stuff. Unfortunately we all have to try the denial route first:(.
    Remember though, there's nothing wrong with spending time with people who make you feel good - friend or date. That's part of the healing too I think.